Temporary Storms – McKayla DeBonis

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Published December 5th by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
Author: McKayla DeBonis
Format: Paperback
Genre: Poetry
Pages: 227
Star rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Opening line:

“This journey was a storm of emotions pieced together through life experiences and the upscale battle of torrent rainfall between my mind and heart.”

Goodreads synopsis:

Temporary Storms is a collection of 200+ poems written during times of heartache, anxiety ridden moments, but most of all in the journey that is finding ones strength through a temporary storm and remembering that you are forever.

There are various aspects of this poetry collection I want to discuss. But what I feel is the most important thing to point out is that the poems are ones that helped the author through tough times. The title Temporary Storms is evocative of this, and is what holds the message of the book. It’s a message that needs to be kept in mind when reading.

Of all the poems in the book, I marked out 13 of them that I connected with. It might seem a small number, but for my personal taste in poetry and from my experiences, those thirteen touched me in a way the others didn’t.

I’ve given this book 3/5 stars. It got this rating because of containing those poems I did like. I also recognise the heart behind these poems, although in places they are lacking in craft. I couldn’t help putting my editing and proofreading hat on whilst reading this, because there is room for improvement, but this is the author’s first collection and we all have time to grow.

There are a few misplaced apostrophes, spelling mistakes and incorrect use of ‘too’, and it does give a sense that these poems weren’t read by a second pair of eyes, or weren’t thoroughly edited. That’s not to say I don’t understand why this may be the case. When poems are as personal as these, it can be hard to change them. But I don’t expect to see punctuation and spelling mistakes.

Also, I know that with modern poetic forms, there is a tendency to write all the words in lowercase. I love this form, and it has been adopted in this book…however, again, editing would benefit here, as the lowercase form isn’t consistent. The use of lowercase is so that all letters are equal on the page, a poetic point that I learnt from reading ‘The Rise of the Poetess‘ by fellow author McKayla Robbin. In this collection, most of the poems are in lowercase (with a few exceptions that appear accidental) but the titles include uppercase letters. This might seem picky, but poetry is a form in which every space and every word in that space contributes to the whole poem.

On that note, I felt some of the poems could have expressed their intended sentiments in a lot less words. I could tell what was being conveyed, but the execution of it could have been better. Certain words were repeated too many times. With poetry, every word has its place. No words are wasted. I felt that the poems could have benefited from attention to craft and the phrase ‘less is more’.

A few poems didn’t make sense and I wasn’t sure what they were saying, but on a positive note, there were some that I truly loved and agreed with. I preferred the shorter poems, and they were generally better expressed and more powerful than the longer ones.

In conclusion, this is a solid collection, but is lacking in craft and needs editing. However, it is written from the heart, from a caring and loving soul. A lot has gone into this collection, and that is worth admiring.

Link to the book on Goodreads: Temporary Storms

jade

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